Today promises to be a very scary for those of doing our darnedest to ensure the swift and efficient privatization of the world’s premier public university.
UCMeP’s Strategic Counter-Activism Brigade (SCAB) will be out in full force throughout the Bay today to help you through all the strikes, rallies, marches, etc.
We implore you, do your best to keep business going as usual.
If you choose to cross a picket line today, please try to ignore the moral, ethical, and political consequences of your actions.
And we hope the following tips for avoiding picket lines can be of assistance:
Tip #47: Use the Force
Tip #108: Come Bearing Gifts
Tip #17: Part the Sea of Reds
Tip #3: Butter
While you’re out aiding those who wish to exercise their God-given right to cross a picket line (and thereby put those who wish to defend a so-called “God-given right” to public education in their place) I suggest that you call the student protesters “spoiled brats!!!!!” as often as possible. Make sure to include all the exclamation points for maximum effect. “Whiners,” “entitlement spongers,” “illegal immigrants,” and other names that generally imply they are lazy drains on society will also work.
Also, I suggest that you put together a budget for a single mother raising two children on something like minimum wage so that she can save properly for her kids’ college degree rather than forcing her put-upon neighbors to pay for it. Then she’ll realize that she can do without her cell phone, her car (or gas for her car), getting cavities filled, food other than store-brand doritos and soda, internet access, a functioning computer, any kind of activities for her kids while they’re still in high school, sleep, vacations, her soul–and focus on working as many hours as possible to pay her rent, her utilities bill, and paying down her credit card debt for that time that one of the kids had to take an ambulance to the emergency room. Or to pay bail for her kid when he gets arrested for drug use cause his mom was never around to provide any kind of decent parenting.
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