Privatize Now! Ask questions later: A Manifesto for Privatization

The following document from the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization has been deemed unfit for publication by no less than 12 newspapers: the Oakland Tribune, the Contra-Costa Times, the Daily Cal, the East Bay Express, the San Francisco Bay Guardian, the Berkeley Daily Planet, the Daily Cal, the Sacramento Bee, the Los Angeles Times, the Orange County Register, the New York Times, and the SF Chronicle.

We here at UCMeP understand this to be nothing short of a concerted attempt by the leftist media to squash the views of UCMeP. Please help us get out the word about UCMeP’s plans for Thursday, September 24 by forwarding the following declaration widely. Our right of free speech (not to mention the efficient privatization of the University of California) is at stake.

Privatize Now! Ask questions later: A Manifesto for Privatization

Like so many other faculty, staff, and students of the University of California, we are extremely concerned by the pending privatization of the world’s premiere public university. Yet, unlike the thousands of faculty, staff, and students whining over the direction in which certain elites are steering the UC, we at the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) are deeply troubled by the snail’s pace at which this inevitable transformation is proceeding.

While UCMeP continues to maintain 110% confidence in the magisterial abilities of President Yudof and the UC Board of Regents, we wholeheartedly believe that the privatization of the University of California can and should occur more efficiently and swiftly. Rather than a forward-looking “Commission on the Future,” which has already been set up by Regent Russell Gould and President Mark Yudof to facilitate the slow privatization of the UC, we propose a “Commission on the Now!” After all, why wait for tomorrow, when you can act today?

With this said, our enduring faith in the maxim “time is money” has made our decision an easy one: UCMeP will take direct and immediate action to privatize the University of California now.

UCMeP’s campaign is already well underway. In recent weeks, we have mobilized members of the UC community who share our conviction that the University of California has fallen dreadfully behind the times by pursuing a goal of excellence in public education. We fully understand that the road ahead will not be easy. The privatization of the UC will demand certain sacrifices. Yet as we all know, to make an omelette, you have to break a couple eggs. And if those eggs include things such as the quality of the classes offered by the UC, the living standards of its employees, and the UC’s reputation around the world for being a bastion of creative and critical thought, then so be it. Our mission to privatize the University of California is clear. And we take heart from the inspiring words of Regent Gould who last week averred, “[W]e are determined not to let a crisis deter us from our mission.”

Recently, UCMeP has been appalled by the bolshevism and steady stream of disinformation about the budget cuts proffered by extremists and moderates alike in the media. We believe that groups such as GSOC, SAVE, SWAT, and AFSCME have declared war on the wrong enemies. President Yudof, UCOP, the UC Regents, and the California State Legislature are not responsible for the crisis we are now facing. These brave administrators and dedicated legislators are working tirelessly and getting paid top dollar to fix the University of California. They are developing innovative plans for transforming the UC from the best public university in the world to something that actually matters in society. We must recognize that the real enemies here are not our despotic leaders, but rather fiscally reckless priorities like student diversity and small faculty-to-student ratios.

In response, then, to the demands demanded by our acronym-bearing brethren, UCMeP posits the following three demands of our own:

1.  We demand the end to all organizing, troublemaking, and general hullabaloo by UC faculty, employees, and students against the privatization of the University of California. In times of crisis, bureaucratic protocols like democracy, shared governance, and public debate are only obstacles in the way of efficient privatization and must not be tolerated.

2. We demand that all demands for greater transparency of the University of California budget cease immediately. Transparency will only lead to further outrage and lend support to criticisms of President Yudof and the Regents, thus slowing the process of privatization.

3. We demand that the proposed impermanence of furloughs, layoffs, and “graduated” wage reductions be seriously reconsidered. Such “cost-saving” measures should instead be extended and expanded. UCOP was 110% correct in declaring that: “Suggesting that the families of the 3,600 people making over $200,000 per year should be affected exclusively and even more disproportionately that they are already to be affected is counterproductive.” And only a 32% increase in tuition next year? Come on. Can’t we do better than that? Where is the ambition in such a modest proposal?

The state of California and UC leaders are working hard to maximize profits by selling off the reputation of the UC. To help expedite this process, UCMeP invites you to join us by taking direct action on Thursday, September 24. Following the planned walk-out rally on Sproul Plaza, UCMeP will be holding a “Buy-In” to auction off important campus landmarks to the highest bidder. By (literally) investing in the future of the University of California, you can help efficiently privatize the UC. Please gather at the steps of Sproul Hall at 12:00PM ready with cash, check, or money order (unfortunately, we cannot accept credit cards). If you would like to help organize what promises to be a defining event in the history of the University of California, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Thank you for your unwavering support of the University of California. Together we can make everyone’s dream of privatizing the nation’s best public university a reality.

Faithfully Yours,

The UC Movement for Efficient Privatization

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