Monthly Archives: December 2009

UCMeP Selects UC Berkeley Spokesperson Dan Mogulof as the Top Outstanding Oratorical Leader (TOOL) of the Year

he following is a letter sent this morning to UC Berkeley spokesman Dan Mogulof from the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP). The letter announces Mr. Mogulof’s selection as the Top Outstanding Oratorical Leader (TOOL) of the Year. The award will be given to Mr. Mogulof by UCMeP representatives at his office (101 Sproul Hall) during a very special ceremony on Friday, January 29 at 11:00AM. UCMeP would like to invite the entire UC community to celebrate this man’s wonderful and inspiring service to the University of California by attending the award ceremony.

12.18.09

Dear Mr. Mogulof,

It is with deep respect and admiration that we here at the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) write to express our gratitude for your masterful performance as UC Berkeley’s Executive Director of Public Affairs. The past months have been trying for all of us here at the University of California. We have seen “radical elements” infiltrate the most hallowed halls of our beloved university. Fanatics have corrupted young and old minds alike with their Bolshevism and dangerous demands to democratize the university’s decision-making processes. These extremists have terrorized us all with “incendiary devices,” militant strikes, fascist spectacles, and “childish” building occupations. Yet in the midst of such threats, you have helped us make sense of the chaos.

As the official spokesman of UC Berkeley, you have been there whenever our administrators, “fearing for their lives” were forced to hide in “undisclosed locations.” You have spoken courageously and eloquently on their behalf, waxing poetically on the value of autocracy during times of emergency. You are always there to answer questions when our leadersrefuse to have more pressing business to which they must attend.

Your words have been like a light in darkness, a sherpa in the Himalayas, guiding the UC community and the larger public to conclusions that we simply could not have arrived at without your help. You have taught us not to be fooled by appearances: the face of extremism, you have reminded us repeatedly, is not the one hidden behind the mask of a riot-gear clad police officer wielding a taser in one hand and a truncheon in the other. No, the face of extremism belongs to the unarmed undergraduate who demands her voice be heard and concerns addressed. Continue reading

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

On the Limits of Legitimate Protest: An Open Letter from UCMeP to the UC Community

We here at the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) were appalled by the actions taken on December 2, 2009 by an errant group of demonstrators who sought to disrupt the “non-political” commemoration of the 45th Anniversary of Mario Savio’s famous speech by pushing their own selfish political agenda. As hundreds gathered on Sproul Plaza for the free pizza and giveaways promised by the ASUC, this swarm of hooligans stormed the event bearing banners and signs that had nothing at all to do with the legacy and museumification of the Free Speech Movement. “Democratize the Regents”? “Reclaim Cal”?  What do those demands have to do with selling stale coffee and over-priced salads to undergraduates?

While none of us here at UCMeP actually attended the event (most of us were too busy gleefully re-watching YouTube clips of riot-gear-clad police pummeling students during the November 20th Wheeler “burglary”), we read all about how these lawless criminals failed to respect what the Academic Council has recently described as the “limits of protest.” Once again, a violent minority of trust fund anarchists turned to inappropriate and illegitimate tactics, which threatened everyone’s civil right to enjoy free samples of Naked Juice (which were generously provided at the event by Naked Juice’s PepsiCo distributor).

Faced with such formidable threats, it is no wonder that Homeland Security felt it necessary to close both Sproul and California Hall yesterday, fearing that a bunch of unwashed hippies might invade the administration’s hallowed halls to hold a drugged-out techno-rave and transform the Chancellor’s office into the prized site of a 24-hour drum circle. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized