Monthly Archives: February 2010

UCMeP’s Critique of Violence

Update: On Friday, February 26, Chancellor Birgeneau, UC President Mark Yudof, and the rest of the UC Chancellors publicly condemned the recent events at UCSD. While their press release does not specify what events they are condemning, it does demonstrate the UC higher-ups uncanny ability at equating hate speech with the recent protests to defend public education. At the time of writing “UCMeP’s Critique of Violence,” UCMeP did not know about this condemnation because – unlike Chancellor Birgeneau’s condemnation of the so-called “Durant Riot” –  this press release was not sent en masse to the entire UC Berkeley community (hmmmm). Chancellor Birgeneau has yet to say anything about the vandalism of UC Davis’ LGBT Center.

We here at the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization are morally outraged over recent events at the University of California.

No, we aren’t (just) talking about the racist actions at UC San Diego or the homophobic vandalism at UC Davis.

We are talking about the band of terrorists disguised as students dancing to defend public education who, in the early morning hours of February 26, struck a vicious blow to everything UC Berkeley holds dear: its dumpsters and trash cans.

Within hours of this despicable event, Chancellor Bobby Birgeneau – writing from the same undisclosed location he has been bravely hiding in since December – sent an email to the entire campus community titled “Vandalism at Durant Hall.”

In this powerful missive, Birgeneau, “condemn[ed] in the strongest terms the overnight criminal vandalism in Durant Hall that spilled over onto Bancroft and Telegraph avenues.”

As increasingly belligerent acts of racism and homophobia shake UC Berkeley’s sister campuses, UCMeP would just like to commend the leaders of the UCB administration for their bold decision to not just speak out against racism and homophobia this past Friday. We are proud that they have highlighted the real threat facing the UC: all those students, faculty, and employees vainly struggling to defend what’s left of public education.

That Chancellor Birgeneau on his own has yet to publicly condemn the hanging of a noose in UCSD’s library or the vandalism of UC Davis’ LGBT center is more than appropriate. After all, why should the leader of UC Berkeley be concerned about goings-on at other campuses of the UC when he has burning trash cans on his own campus to contend with?

Friends, as Chancellor Birgeneau has recently demonstrated, racism, sexism, and hate speech are not the biggest enemies the University of California faces. The real foes are free speech, the right to dissent, and the tolerance of minority opinion.

We must battle these democratic evils with everything we’ve got.

It is toward dance parties and brief midnight occupations of construction sites that our moral outrage should be directed, not nooses and homophobia.

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Student Protestor Gets ‘pwnd’ by Police! (make sure you have popcorn handy)

Dear children,

This is what you get for complaining that a police officer hit you in the face:

1) You get arrested for assault on a police officer, inciting a riot, and resisting arrest.

2) You get bail set at $23,500!

As always, this was a totally fair and appropriate response by police last night at the Durant and Telegraph conflagration.

These heavily-armed terrorists should just be thankful that UC and Berkeley PD showed such restraint.

Sincerely,

UCMeP

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Terrorists Disguised as Dancing Students Strike UC Berkeley!

Last night a band of terrorists disguised as students dancing to defend public education struck a vicious blow to everything UC Berkeley holds dear: its dumpsters and trash cans.

As the Daily Cal reports, yesterday evening around 10PM a dance party began on Sproul Plaza and soon descended into violent and incredibly frightening chaos:

As the crowd moved, a white Dodge Charger turned onto the street and people ran alongside the car as it advanced, a practice commonly referred to as “ghost riding the whip.”

Like the rest of the Bay Area media, we would hate to go into specific details about why protestors (we mean terrorists) did what they did, but instead we would like to instead present you with a photo of the carnage they caused.

Oh, the humanity!

And if you ever find yourself caught in a similarly uncomfortable protest situation, UCMeP is happy to offer you tips on how to escape… check out our brand spanking new instructional video series “How to Cross a Picket Line”:

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UCMeP again in the Media Spotlight!

Yesterday UC Davis’ student newspaper the California Aggie ran an enchanting and whimsical story about the origins of the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization.

While the coverage didn’t include any pictures (!!!), it did feature these heartwarming comments from our biggest fan, UC Berkeley SpokesMAN Dan “The Monologue” Mogulof:

I think [UCMeP] is emblematic of Berkeley students at their best; passionate, intelligent, idealistic, committed, clever and innovative… I don’t necessarily agree with all their points or positions but they certainly found an effective way to get their message out and its one that you can’t just walk away from.

Wait! Big-D doesn’t “necessarily agree” with all our points or positions? I guess that’s better than him saying he doesn’t agree with all our points or positions.

And it’s nice to hear that there are some activist groups on campus Dan finds it easy to “just walk away from.”

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The Adopt-a-Regent Campaign shows up outside President Clinton’s Fundraising Stop for Regent Richard Blum!

Credit: The Daily Cal

During these tough economic times, the hardest hit have been our loyal state employees. That’s why some months ago, the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) inaugurated a very special philanthropic endeavor: the Adopt-a-Regent Campaign (ARC).

Since September 2009, UCMeP has done our darnedest to help California’s most under-appreciated state employees by raising money for the UC Board of Regents.

This afternoon we were pleased to step up our philanthropic efforts by showing up outside Zellerbach to solicit donations for ARC from the hundreds lined up to hear former President Bill Clinton promote giving hella cash to Regent Richard Blum and his eponymically named Blum Center. Continue reading

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UCMeP Presents the “How to Cross a Picket Line on March 4” Instructional Video Series!

Tip #47: Use the Force

Tip #108: Come Bearing Gifts

Tip #17: Part the Sea of Reds

Tip #3: Butter

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Official Release! UCMeP Presents “The How to Cross a Picket Line on March 4” Instructional Video Series!

As you may or (hopefully) may not be aware, on Thursday, March 4, 2010 there will be a statewide protest to defend public education on a scale never before seen in California.

For those of us who are working hard to put a swift and efficient end to the distastefully outdated and fiscally reckless institution known as public education, March 4 promises to be a very scary day.

With the belligerent mobilization around the March 4 strikes continuing to spread like the plague, infecting students, faculty, and staff alike with dangerous desires for democracy, diversity, accessibility, etc., things are starting to look to grim for the privatization struggle.

This is why the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) recently mobilized a special task force to subvert the March 4 protests: the Strategic Counter-Activism Brigade (SCAB).

Already SCAB has made headlines in major newspapers like the SF Chronicle with its innovative tactics for training students how to cross picket lines without thinking twice about the ethical, moral, or political consequences of their actions.

As part of this campaign to incapacitate March 4, SCAB, in cooperation with UCMeP, has produced a series of public service announcements that offer viewers fun and unique ways to cross picket lines on March 4. You can watch the full exciting “How to Cross a Picket Line” series below (or click here). We invite you to share the videos with friends, colleagues, and loved ones.

It is our hope that these instructional videos will help teach people how to to avoid being lured in by the sound ethical arguments and compelling moral appeals of picketers.

And remember, the decision to cross a picket is never without consequences. No matter your intention, crossing a picket line on March 4 (whether it be going to class, going to work, or even using the library) will be a clear action in support of the destruction of public education.

So please, take the necessary step. Help UCMeP put an end to public education. Cross the picket lines on March 4.

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