Monthly Archives: January 2011

UCMeP Applies for a Daily Cal Column!!

We write today with exciting news: UCMeP has applied to be a columnist for UC Berkeley’s student-run newspaper, the Daily Cal!

While decisions are not expected for two weeks, we have a good feeling that after reading our cover letter (pasted below), the Daily Cal will feel compelled to select UCMeP as a columnist.

In the meantime, please feel free to bombard the Daily Cal’s Opinion Editor (opinion@dailycal.org) and Development Editor (development@dailycal.org) with emails explaining why you feel UCMeP should have a column in the Daily Cal.

Dear Daily Cal,

We here at the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) are pleased to offer you the enviable opportunity to make UCMeP a columnist for your venerable publication. In case you have been living under a rock for the past year and a half (as regular readers of Daily Cal columns, we fear this might be the case) and do not know what UCMeP is, allow us to catch you up.

Like the Daily Cal, UCMeP is an independent organization of students and alumni who are dedicated to serving the interests of the UC administration and police department. And like so many other faculty, staff, and students of the University of California, UCMeP is extremely concerned by the pending privatization of the world’s premiere public university. Yet unlike those whining over the direction in which certain elites are steering the UC, UCMeP is deeply troubled by the snail’s pace at which this inevitable transformation is proceeding. Since 2009, UCMeP has spearheaded a number of innovative projects aimed at ensuring the  swift and efficient privatization of the University of California.

Now you might be asking yourself, what can UCMeP provide the Daily Cal that it hasn’t already had in the past? To be completely honest, the content UCMeP has to offer is hardly any different from what Daily Cal columnists are known for regularly spewing out, ie. sensationalist and moralizing defamations of student activists, blind affirmations of the right of UC police to draw firearms on students, and fairly offensive defenses of structural racism. So content-wise, all UCMeP can offer the Daily Cal is more of the same.

But we promise you, it will be more of the same with style. Think Roman Zhuk (your former wonderfully reactionary Opinion Editor) but with a better haircut and a wardrobe that wasn’t picked out by our mom.

That’s what UCMeP will give the Daily Cal.

Possible future columns could include: “UC Cyber-Campus: Giving New Meaning to Separate but Equal,” “Why UC Custodians Should Pay to Pick Up My Trash,” and, “No Humanities? No Problem.”

Regarding multi-media stuff, UCMeP has proven itself more than adept at utilizing media of all sorts. Check out UCMeP’s website at www.ucmep.wordpress.com for examples. And if the Daily Cal lets us, we would be happy to make UCMeP podcasts and even a feature length biopic about the life of UC Regent Richard Blum entitled, “How to Make Millions off the Poverty of Others.”

And one final note, people often think that UCMeP’s rhetoric regarding the urgent need to swiftly privatize the world’s leading public university is a joke. Let us be clear, we are entirely serious about becoming a Daily Cal columnist. And if you choose us, UCMeP might actually consider selling you your website domain back.

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8th Wonder Of The World!!

No, the title of this post is not referring to Dean Christopher Edley.

If you haven’t yet heard the wondrous news, please enjoy the following article.

Like the UC Regents, Governor Jerry Brown, and the California state legislature, UCMeP is pleased to hear that credible news agencies are giving credit where credit is due.

Gap Between Rich And Poor Named 8th Wonder Of The World

JANUARY 24, 2011

PARIS—At a press conference Tuesday, the World Heritage Committee officially recognized the Gap Between Rich and Poor as the “Eighth Wonder of the World,” describing the global wealth divide as the “most colossal and enduring of mankind’s creations.”

“Of all the epic structures the human race has devised, none is more staggering or imposing than the Gap Between Rich and Poor,” committee chairman Henri Jean-Baptiste said. “It is a tremendous, millennia-old expanse that fills us with both wonder and humility.”

“And thanks to careful maintenance through the ages, this massive relic survives intact, instilling in each new generation a sense of awe,” Jean- Baptiste added.

The vast chasm of wealth, which stretches across most of the inhabited world, attracts millions of stunned observers each year, many of whom have found its immensity too overwhelming even to contemplate. By far the largest man-made structure on Earth, it is readily visible from locations as far-flung as Eastern Europe, China, Africa, and Brazil, as well as all 50 U.S. states.

Read the rest here.

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UCMeP’s Speech at the “Assembly to Defend Dean Edley’s Pension”

For those of you who could not make the rousing fundraising success that was last Wednesday’s “Assembly to Defend Dean Edley’s Pension,” we are happy to post the speech delivered by our UCMeP representative.

Enjoy.

As we are well aware, California is in a period of profound financial uncertainty. During such tough economic times no one is taking a bigger hit than our hardworking public servants. And among those struggling to get by at the UC, no one has made a bigger deal of their personal financial woes than the benevolent millionaires who lord over our daily lives here at the university.

In a spectacular embodiment of Boalt Law school’s commitment to social welfare, no pen has been working harder to argue that the UC’s wealthiest employees deserve even more money than that of Christopher Edley – Dean of this fine law school, special sidekick to UC President Mark Yudof, and architect of the Online UC, that profitable debt-manufacturing machine disguised as a civil rights project.

Now I am sure that we need not go into detail about the letters Dean Edley has signed, the missives he has authored, or even the interviews he has given on his own unfortunate pension situation. Nor do we need rehearse all the reasons Dean Edley has offered as to why he deserves more cash at a time when most UC employees making less than 10% of what Dean Edley earns either are being laid off or are facing the possibility of seeing their own pensions gutted.

All that need be said is what Dean Edley has been saying along: give the UC’s money not to those who need it, not to those who deserve it, but to those who already have tons of money!!  Doing so is not only fair, but it will help ensure that dedicated public servants like Dean Edley remain at the UC. And while keeping people like Dean Edley at the UC may not be the only way to kill public education in the State of California, it sure will help!!

For these reasons, we here at the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) are proud to be leading a bold initiative aimed at helping those administrators who are terrified by the prospect of a retirement pension worth only paltry millions.

We are calling it the Bereft Administrators’ Relief Fund (aka BARF).

The aim of BARF is simple: UCMeP is asking each and every one of you to not only donate money, but also to help collect money for the UC’s wealthiest albeit most under-appreciated administrators. BARF is modeled on the astounding success of other grassroots humanitarian relief campaigns undertaken at the UC, which benefitted similar causes such as the devastating earthquake in Haiti. Although administrators like Dean Edley did not lose their homes, they sure could use another one.

After everything Dean Edley has done for the state of California, the very least we can give him is BARF. But if Dean Edley is going to get all the BARF he deserves, we must make BARF a collective effort.

To this end, UCMeP is happy to provide you with your very own BARF bags which you can use for collecting BARF from your family, friends, colleagues and classmates.

Thank you for your time and we sincerely hope that all of you will take part in this noble effort to help California keep its promise to the UC’s wealthiest administrators.

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Yesterday’s “Assembly to Defend Dean Edley’s Pension” was no Joke!

Believe it or not, but individuals who have little prior knowledge of UCMeP often think that we and our more than reasonable rhetoric regarding the urgent need to swiftly privatize the world’s leading public university is nothing but a joke.

This is why we found it so refreshing to wake up this morning and read in the UCSD Guardian the following earnest article about yesterday’s collaboration with Save Our Dean in support of Dean Christopher Edley:

Students Rally in Support of Berkeley Law Dean Chris Edley

Posted on 20 January 2011

Student members of the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization held a “Save Our Dean” Rally in support of Dean Christopher Edley at UC Berkeley on Jan. 19.

Edley is one of over 200 UC executives threatening to sue the UC system in the absence of a pension increase and of the 36 executives who wrote to the Regents on the matter on Dec. 9.

Edley faced scrutiny following the letter’s publication by the San Francisco Chronicle in which he encouraged a “moral and ethical” approach to increasing UC executives’ pensions that exceed $245,000.

“UCPD had to show up at the rally to protect the pro-Dean Edley supporters. Almost no one supported what we’re doing. In fact, I don’t think one person did,” Steve Johnson* said, a spokesperson from Save Our Dean who wishes to remain anonymous in fear of “retaliation from UC Regents and a hostile environment at UC Berkeley’s Law School.”

About 25 people participated in the rally with about 50 onlookers. There were four speakers, including Edley.

“If administrators can’t make an unlimited amount of money at the UC while they effectively work to privatize it, then the privatization of the university is not going to happen as smoothly,” Johnson said. “We need to eliminate the public sphere and turn [the UC] over to private enterprise.” The group of over 200 UC executives argued their retirement benefits should reflect a percentage of their salaries rather than the initial $245,000 that has remained capped.

“No one really feels that he is entitled to additional compensation during this crisis that the University of California finds itself in, and they don’t understand that Dean Edley’s future is going to be significantly threatened if the UC Regents don’t follow through with their promise to greatly increase his compensation,” Johnson said.

Edley has served as dean and professor of law for UC Berkeley’s Boalt Hall School of Law for seven years, and taught at Harvard Law for 23 years prior. Edley and the law school could not be reached for comment.

*Names have been changed.

 

For more coverage on yesterday’s action, see this story from the Daily Clog.

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Save Our Dean Solidarity Rally

We here at the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) are proud to announce our support for a brave cohort of UC Berkeley law students who are standing in solidarity with Christopher Edley during the Dean’s time of financial exigency.

Save Our Dean (SOD) is calling for a Solidarity Rally this Wednesday, January 19 in Steinhard Courtyard of Boalt Hall on the campus of UC Berkeley. The rally is scheduled to begin at 12:45.

UCMeP hopes that each and everyone one of you will be able to make this very special event. As a cherry on top, UCMeP has learned that none other than Dean Christopher Edley has been invited to speak at the rally.

Please see below for their call to action. And be sure to visit the SOD website (www.saveourdean.com) to learn about how to donate money directly to Dean Edley.

CALL TO ACTION: ASSEMBLY TO DEFEND DEAN EDLEY’S PENSION

We write as members of the Boalt Hall community concerned over recent criticism of Dean Edley. As you may have heard, Dean Edley wrote to the Board of Regents on December 9 to remind them of their “moral and ethical” responsibilities to increase the pensions of University of California executives earning over $245,000. Taking a moral stand isn’t always easy or popular, but we applaud Dean Edley for doing so.

Although there are a host of problems now plaguing the University of California system, we agree with Dean Edley that this is an issue our community needs to address URGENTLY. While all of us have had to undertake sacrifices – rising tuition, cuts to financial aid, and layoffs – the demand letter serves as a timely reminder that, eventually, a line must be drawn.

Dean Edley’s powerful e-mail to the community serves as a moral challenge to us all. We hope that this dispute does not result in a “costly and unsuccessful legal confrontation for the University.” But if it does, we want to show the Board of Regents that some of this nation’s brightest young legal minds will be supporting Dean Edley in his fight for higher executive pensions.

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Edley Got it Right!!

As you may have already heard – the world did not end yesterday… just like Christopher Edley predicted.

Even more astonishing is the fact that – following the second half of Dean Edley‘s prophecy – there was actually an earthquake in the Bay Area last night!

We knew Dean Edley had high connections, but….

Like everyone else at the University of California, UCMeP is continually astounded by Christopher Edley and the things he does and says.

Not only is Christopher Edley Dean of one of the world’s premier law schools and Architect of the Online UC (aka “The Just-Because-We-Don’t-Want-Your-Kind-On-Campus-Doesn’t-Mean-We-Won’t-Take-Your-Money University”), but he has just proven himself a world-class clairvoyant up there with the likes of Miss Cleo!

We must keep Dean Christopher Edley part of the UC community.

But as he and  36 other dedicated public servants have recently made clear, the only way to retain people with talents like his is by giving them tons of cash.

Do your part to keep augurous administrators like Dean Christopher Edley part of the UC by giving them all the BARF they deserve.

Making sure people like Dean Edley remain at the UC may not be the only way to kill public education in the State of California, but it sure will help!!

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Christopher Edley Can Predict the Future!!

As if being Dean of Boalt Law School, Special Sidekick to UC President Mark Yudof, and architect of the Online UC (that profitable debt-making machine disguised as a civil-rights project) were not enough, Christopher Edley has just revealed his possession of yet another remarkably marketable trait – one that makes him even worthier of the millions more in pension bucks he and the rest of the Gilded 36 are so humbly demanding: he can see the freaking future!!

In an email to the Boalt Law School community yesterday afternoon, Dean Edley sagely predicted:

“It is absolutely not true that the world will end, tomorrow 1/11/11 at 1:11 pm.  But be prepared for an earthquake.”

We here at the UC Movement for Efficient Privatization (UCMeP) hardly need more proof that Christopher Edley deserves more cash to line his banana stand.

And while his diaphanous explanation to the Boalt Law School community as to why he deserves so much more cash (at a time when the state is cutting $500 million in funding to the UC) will probably not convince the already wisely converted, if Dean Edley is correct and today is in fact NOT Armageddon, then let UCMeP be the first to declare this about our Tiresian Dean: he deserves more than just a few hundred thousand more dollars in pension bucks – he deserves anything he wants!

After all, just think how many funds for the UC he could raise by playing roulette in Vegas!!

In the meantime, do your part and give Dean Edley all the BARF he deserves.

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